it's like this

It's like this. . . .

I have no idea. I have been back in J-town for, what, let me see (dramatic pause as I look in my journal) 1 month and 10 days.

What, really?!?

40 days.

It feels more like I have lived 2 or 3 months already. Time is a funny thing. "Time," wrote Douglas Adams, "is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

I digress. When I had just arrived in Jackson, I wrote in my journal, ". . . I feel weird coming back. It's kind of disorienting, like someone hit me upside the head with a 2x4, and I'm coming back to consciousness."

That about sums it up. I still feel like that. I sit in absolute disbelief that we are less than a week away from Christmas. I have been robbed, I tell you, I want my time back. I know this blatantly contradicts my original statement about feeling like I've been back a long time, but that's what you get when you've been hit by a 2x4. Confusion.

Somehow, my mind wants to have reached some sort of profound conclusion by this point, something to offer myself and you, my babies, but nope.

Out of sheer necessity, I have been focusing on simple things, such as surviving substitute teaching, which, not surprisingly, has been taking up most of my time. I have no idea how full time teachers do anything besides collapse into a pile of mush at the end of the day. I salute you, and declare that you should all be sainted, or something. Thank you, Lord, for Christmas Break, of which I fully intend to take advantage.

Other than that, I've been glad to be back at my church. I am so thankful to have a church home. It's been good to be with my friends again, although I have not seen as much of them as I'd like, since most of the time I do actually collapse into a pile of incoherent flesh once I get home from work, and really should not be allowed to be around people (and, apparently, children) after work most days, I have been finding out, for my own preservation and the safety of others.

I haven't been painting/drawing/being creative since I got back, I just haven't had the energy much lately for such things. I am trying to be patient with myself, and remind myself that I haven't been back that long and I'm getting used to working, and work has been pretty challenging, and it's OK if things are off at the moment.

So here I am, still coming back to consciousness, still nursing the metaphorical bruises from the metaphorical 2x4 that hit me upside my head.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a Christmas break to enjoy.